My Mother in the New Fade, Part 9

my mother is a contradiction

she is at once
one of the strongest people i knew
but also
one of the most vulnerable

i think i recognize in her
the same betrayal
i feel
from the world
in that i have so much faith
in it
but am constantly
wounded
by its failings

my mother's greatest wounds
came from her family
wanting it to stay strong
and yet it kept
falling apart

the first wounds came
from sisters who didn't
respect what my mother believed

the second wound came
from her mother's untimely
and mysterious death

the third wound came
from her father's timely
but still incomprehensible death
something that crept up on her
and came about just when it seemed
he'd live forever

the fourth wounds came
when her first two sons
rejected the faith she'd embraced
all her life
for variations
that the world represented
as faithful alternatives

the fifth came
when she was diagnosed
with cancer
far too late for effective treatment
and so only a series of pains
she did not want to endure

and so the sixth came
when she made the decision
to stop treatments
and to only inform her family
when they approached her

the seventh pain
will come in the end of all things,
an appropriate rest