My Mother in the New Fade, Part 7

my mother quickly became a mother
after her wedding
and eventually had five children
all by c-section

one after the other
so close in age
and yet it seemed
like ages between us
while we grew up
unbridgeable gaps

she treated us and nurtured us
on equal terms
and perhaps that was galling

by the time we were grown up
we really were all the same
except small differences in age
still created great distances

maybe that's what siblings
are supposed to think
and maybe the wisdom of mothers
is not supposed to notice this
and that's something
you're supposed to learn
but don't
and that's your failing

she tried to make music of it
and sometimes all we were
was a cacaphony

My Mother in the New Fade, Part 6

anything and everything
is relevant when you're talking
about how things work themselves out

my mother met my father
as i said
many years after
they might've

in fact
my father's brother
met her before he did

it's that kind of world

but they met
square dancing
because that's what she
thought her father
might enjoy
to help get over
the death of her mother

and so yeah, that's
how my father met my mother

i heard this from her
many times
but there are always
new details worth savoring

so i can understand
how that kind of story
can be fascinating
for a long time

My Mother in the New Fade, Part 5

my mother held a variety of jobs
and she never seemed to have one
where she was entirely comfortable

in the New Fade, women have gained
a great deal of rights and equality

which means, yes, they are also
free to be miserable at work

My Mother in the New Fade, Part 4

my mother made a robe for Kennedy

it's part of what I like to consider
her mythology
since it seems somewhat
incomprehensible

i believe it and i doubt it
every time i think about it

she would have been about twenty
at the time
and that's also weird to think

my father can remember
exactly where he was
sitting on a wall
when he heard about
the assassination

and my mother used
to really be enamored
with Camelot

and yet now i sense
that she doesn't really care

we all forget our dying king
and yet i sense that it's
simply no longer important to her

all of that's important to the New Fade, too

My Mother in the New Fade, Part 3

to hear my mother tell it,
her sisters, both of whom were older,
didn't really like her

they crowded her when they
shared a bed and otherwise
ignored her until later years
when there were no more excuses

her two brothers were younger,
and she got along better with them;
after all, her favorite, who was like
her best friend, became my godfather,
and my family's favorite besides

it's always odd to think of the family
of your mother (or your father)
unless you grow up right next to them
but in the New Fade that's probably
less likely than ever before

it's my mother's family that I know best,
especially her father, whom we visited
frequently during the decade where
my life and his overlapped

we also shared the violin
and i think that was my mother's doing
and i'm not mad about that

he used to make them,
and i think he and she were more proud
of that than his barbering days,
or the years in the Woonsocket mills

he also spoke only French
and that made him just as peculiar
to me as his skinny mustache,
trademarks he shared with the devotion
to his favorite rocking chair
that sat next to the entrance
to a home that was so familiar to me,
with its sloping driveway and backyard path
to a park, and what used to be a skating rink
that defined a great deal of my mother's
early life

(those were the days when rollerskating
was still socially relevant, and not just
a place to throw kids and have them listen
to pop music for a few hours)

Private Thoughts in the New Fade, Part 2

i think it's a good thing
to not know everything
of what people are thinking

what would you think
if you knew how close to the brink
some people who to flushing you down the sink?

it's a sinking feeling to know that those who know you best
are sometimes willing to throw it all away without even a test
just because of one or two things that hit too close to the chest

thump your chest if this was never you
if your face did not turn red in hew
and someone face you never once thought to chew

in fact, if you chew on it
you'd probably admit
that everyone you know has given you a fit

it's the fitness of our intelligence
that we consider our thoughts hence
so that we don't throw each other on a fence

fencing with our views is what makes us what we are
rather than as dense as tar
so that we can all go far

it's what we do that helps us go that distance
but only if we consider our thoughts and don't act like infants
and do our best to behave with eloquence

Private Thoughts in the New Fade

what the hell are private thoughts in the New Fade?
because it seems as if everyone has to know everything now
and they need to share it and have it shared,
all of it, all the time, and if you're not doing that
then there's something wrong with you,
something abnormal and strange
and not to be trusted, as if you're
a secret deviant and perhaps serial killer
waiting to happen; and the thing that's stranger still
is that hardly anyone actually wants to hear anything interesting,
so that if you have something more than the mundane to say
you will be ignored in this great social imperative,
if you go off-message, if you contradict, if you challenge
what even the rebellious are saying